08 Sep Roxanne: Favored Daughter

Another Miss Universe contender from Afghanistan. Roxanne had the beauty and manners of a pageant contestant. Unfortunately in very little time, high school staff determined she at 14 could barely read or write. Buried deep in her academic file along with pieces of information from her parents, the reasons for her interrupted and erratic past school experience started to come together.

Roxanne with her family of four younger sisters and an older brother had to flee a dangerous Afghanistan. Their first country of refuge was Russia. There Roxanne had inexplicably been deemed not ready for school, not able to enter. Her younger sisters attended classes but Roxanne remained unschooled for years. Their next move was to the United States when she started 7th grade. Notes on her school record from a Catholic school in Louisiana stated that she had a great deal of trouble learning and before they could put interventions in place, the family moved to Virginia. And here she was on our doorstep with parents who had volunteered the geo-logistics of her academic background but little information about her difficulties in school.

If you can’t read or write you can presume that high school is a daily, difficult game of subterfuge. Roxanne used many strategies to appear that she was getting the work done. For one, she was adept at getting the work done if she could take it home. However, if the assignment or quiz needed to be completed in class, the result was completely different and sub-standard. The discrepancy extended to test grades that were very uneven, sometimes superior, sometimes very below average. After a few months teachers realized those test grades depended on where Roxanne was sitting. And in the following years when her sisters entered high school, it finally became apparent why she took the work home; her sisters were not afflicted with the same academic limitations.

The teachers and counselors at the school advised the family on numerous occasions about Roxanne being tested for special ed services. That was unthinkable was the decision by father, mother and older brother. The school looked to other solutions. In her junior year several teachers and her counselor noted her interest in her good looks and recommended to Roxanne the Cosmetology program. As Roxanne wistfully predicted, her parents would have none of it.

However, Roxanne was not idle in class. She craved male attention and created many scenarios to pit one smitten young man against another. Her games of catch and kill were successful in the suspension of two unwitting males. And if boys did not pay attention to her, she started the drama. So aggressive was her female offensive that in one particular class, a group of girls asked the teacher to step in and stop Roxanne from whispering shockingly bold invitations to their male friend. They felt he needed protection. This super-cool dude was stunned by her coarse language and suggestions. In the following disciplinary conference when this incident and others were discussed with the father and brother, the family argued that none of the daughters used such language and did not know these words.

After a few years the high school learned that the family had moved but were still attending the same school. This was contrary to district policy and because of the constant complaints about Roxanne and now her belligerent sister, the school was anxious to send the girls to their proper school district. However, the family stepped in while most of the staff was on vacation and, (because of a new administrator who was unaware of the background), Roxanne and now 3 younger siblings were together in the same school the following academic year.

The group of girls were close to each other, and tolerated few others. They also had the habit of saving a place in the cafeteria line so they could all sit together at lunch. (The short time allotted for lunch meant that the cafeteria was a madhouse for any student.) As time went on many students became aware of the sisters’ practice of one designee coming down early and saving a place for the other three to cut in line. All was somewhat peaceful in that cafeteria line until December when a student directly behind the sisters verbally objected. The youngest, maybe not the wisest, was in front of her, and it did not take her long to use her tray as a weapon to try to knock some sense into the outspoken girl. That clobber left a 4” gash to her head, lots of blood and an emergency trip to the closest hospital. The family and the girls were once again the center of attention for proper disciplinary procedures. The family loudly objected but the student videos plainly showed the progression of events as well as the culpability of the perpetrator. The administration indefinitely suspended the youngest girl but offered her homebound school services for the rest of that school year (6 months) so her academic year would be saved. The other 3 sisters entered school a few weeks into the new year with no further disciplinary action.

The family was not satisfied with the school’s decision and in the following summer sued the school for “discriminatory and racist behavior” towards the girls. Eventually, after much time and effort by the administration and legal support from school district lawyers, all the girls returned to school and kept a quiet profile for the next year. At the end of that school year, Roxanne’s younger sister graduated and the family realized they had to do something with Roxanne. She was 19 going on 20, 5 years in high school and graduation not in sight. Also she was now engaged to a proper Afghan young man who lived in Toronto. She needed to get on with this, get her diploma from high school and start college so they could get married when she finished that degree.

They finally acted on a previous recommendation from the Guidance Department that Roxanne finish her high school requirements at a private school. She would have to meet their requirements to take classes and pass the tests, but not the state mandatory end of course tests, the ultimate stumbling block for a student with her disabilities. On follow-up phone calls from the public school to the head administrator of the private school, she shared that Roxanne was successful but a pattern had emerged. If Roxanne took the work home, it was excellent but when it was time to come in and test for exams, she did not show up. And, sadly in the end, she never showed up for her final exams.