09 Sep Col: Two Paths Diverged in a Yellow Wood

It was Col’s job, when the family came to the US, to be their mouthpiece. As the oldest boy he naturally learned English first. It had been a long journey from Vietnam to Cambodia, then a refugee center in China until they were placed in Pittsburgh, in the middle of a bitterly cold winter. The family had been luckier than most Vietnamese because the father had aided the U.S. forces during the Vietnam War, for which he somehow paid by losing several toes when captured and briefly held by the VietCong.

Col was gifted with incredible athletic energy. There was not a sports team in the county that did not want him for his talent and his attitude. He played baseball, basketball, and soccer. As a freshman in high school he was on the varsity soccer team. In class his fellow classmates liked him because he was kind, compassionate and confident. During his second year he asked the Guidance Department to figure out a way for him to graduate in three years; his family needed him to help in the lawn care business, to be the frontman and solicit new business. His English was the best in the family; he was naturally charming and they needed to increase their client base. He could open more doors for them. The solution from Guidance was summer school courses for two years, and he could graduate in August of his third year.

At the end of his junior year, Col celebrated with the graduating class and at a celebratory graduation party, again showed his athletic prowess. On a dare, he dropped to the floor and performed a break-dance routine in a very small kitchen bordered by kitchen cabinets, refrigerator, stove, dinette table. He whirled on his shoulders, elbows and completely stunned the onlookers who thought he would never accept the challenge that had been thrown down.

Just a few weeks after he started his last class Government in summer school, his final requirement to graduate in August. When his friend called and said she had missed the bus with 2 other friends, Col assured them he would be right there. He drove quickly the 10 miles to pick them up but life for Col changed suddenly on that speedy ride back to the summer school location.

His Honda swerved on the divided highway and hit a bridge abutment. While others were hurt and later released from the hospital, Col had been thrown 70 feet and went into a month-long coma. The excellent hospital care saved his life, but with rock pellets in his upper arm as a reminder of that day’s trauma, Col would be forever changed. He was paralyzed from the waist down, and in the hospital he suffered a stroke that affected his entire right side. His rehabilitation was marked with more trauma and inconsistencies; while the family was sympathetic and mournful, Col’s mother found the early sessions of home rehabilitation more than she could bear. They were hurting her son all over again; she threw them out of the house. No attempt to reason with her or the family would let the rehab specialists re-enter.

Additionally, his medication became a huge issue. While the doctor had tried to educate the family about what and when to take the powerful drugs for pain, the family was overly and dangerously sympathetic to his pain. Col went to the hospital many times for the side effects of over medication of morphine causing his bowels to stop working. When his general doctor would hear the latest, he would moan and say, “Is there no one here who can understand what and when I am telling them to administer these drugs? Is the only one who understands English the victim in the accident, and now he is brain damaged?” Sobering words.

The brain damage was evident when the high school approved homebound services for Col. He could take that last course, Government, and graduate with his class. It would have been his fourth year. In June of that next year, Col in a wheelchair “walked” across the stage with his family in the audience. He had successfully completed the requirements for his high school degree and received his diploma.

Much time had been lost for a quick, if not complete, recovery and Col improved only little by little over the years. It is only after ten years that his brain has started to function normally again. Today Col has taken charge of his own recovery and walks with a walker over short distances. He says he can feel muscles building on his right side. He credits his recovery to his new-found Christian faith. That is not a positive talking point with members of the family who are Buddhists. They also may lose his disability income if he shows great recovery so there is turmoil within the family for the first time about his recovery. But Col is determined that he will continue his own recovery, he will get the money to buy installation equipment to drive a car with his hands, and continue his schooling to find gainful employment. The car accident did not stop his personal growth, it steered him down a path he had not expected. His grit and determination were part of who he was, and continue to be a part of who he is.