01 Sep Henry: Quiet Waters

When Henry was in his first year of U.S. public high school, he was inseparable from his electronic translator. His mother had emigrated from China to Virginia to broaden his schooling and future opportunities. She was a successful businesswoman in China but left that behind for her son’s future. Henry went through a long silent period for more than half a year, because he was determined with his trusty translator, when he spoke he would deliver the accurate vocabulary and the correct verb tense.

Henry’s previous schooling had been rigorous and he was at the top of his class in China. In the United States he started at the bottom in most classes that demanded knowledge of English. That did not include math, and partially so in science. He excelled in these disciplines quickly and quietly. His focus and attention in all classes were remarkable and singular. Although he was social and well-liked outside class, in the classroom he was all business and not distracted by “unscholarly” activity around him.

Ming was one of Henry’s closest friends during high school. He was also from China but Ming had been in the US much longer and his English language was on par with his classmates. Ming was a member of the tennis team and to be with his friend, Henry joined the team. Surprisingly, he became a good tennis player quickly by transferring his skills in playing ping-pong to tennis. What Ming did not teach him, he then learned online with tennis instruction from tennis professionals on YouTube videos. With the tennis team being in a rebuilding year after losing several good players to graduation, Henry started at position #5. His tennis skills gradually eclipsed those of his good friend but he appealed to the coach the following year not to rank him higher than his friend Ming. In his last year of high school and varsity tennis with Ming now away at college, Henry started as #1. In that extremely competitive year opposing coaches would often remark about his skills and unbelievable ability to stay in the point and in the game when he played opponents who had been playing for five or more years than he had. He won accolades and praise from rival team players as well, and often made good friends with top players from other schools. Off-season he would build his game and enjoy competitive matches with players who other teammates would have called “the enemy.”

When Henry was a Junior, he was inseparable from Ming who was a graduating senior. Henry observed intently the US high school ritual of applying to college. Ming had said he wanted to go to Harvard, only Harvard, but in the end he realized the limitations of his own high school record and settled (in his mind) for Virginia Tech with a concentration in engineering. This was a magnificent second choice for Ming, and as Henry shadowed Ming he came to one conclusion. Now Henry wanted to go only to Virginia Tech with a concentration in engineering.

After presenting a broader choice of schools for Henry after he graduated, I realized my advice lacked timing and was pretty useless. Henry had Plan A to go to Virginia Tech and if he did not get accepted he would focus his attention on Plan B. He would go to the community college and then re-apply to Virginia Tech to finish his degree for his last two years. He would see his old friend Ming on college breaks and summer vacations but they would not be at Tech at the same time.

No disappointment, criticism or racial prejudice ever seemed to bother Henry. He seemed unflappable until that phone call on Friday night. Could he come over? Yes, the next morning. That next morning he sat across from me at the kitchen table silently crying while relating the difficulties his mother was enduring so he could stay in school in the US. She was intermittently a victim of domestic abuse and the night before, she had fought back. Now her Chinese-American husband called the police and wanted to press charges against her. Henry felt helpless and afraid. He felt that he wanted to fight back for his mother, but admitted he thought that would just escalate the crisis. Fortunately I had some knowledge about abuse in a marriage that includes a non-citizen. Henry heard and shared with his mother how she could get help from an immigration lawyer, and that she actually was now in a protected status.

A few days later I told Henry I would never ask him about his home situation unless he brought it up first. It would be in my heart but would stay there. He never brought it up but a few years later he said, with a smile and a tonecc of conviction, that things were much better. He had finished two years at the community college with stellar grades. And he shared that he had real peace about leaving his mother behind while he pursued the dream they both had for his future by entering Virginia Tech in the Engineering School as a junior.